I'm Not Buying It

2009-05-03T21:13:00.001-07:00

Ketchup Cake? wtf

2009-04-30T15:30:00.000-07:00

This article claims human beings are making, consuming a dish called Ketchup Cake. Actual humans.

C'mon, you're just pulling my...no? For serious?

Swine Flu

2009-04-30T15:04:00.000-07:00

Not the kind pictured above....

But the bad, spooky, ooh, I'm gonna get ya kind.

Drew Curtis of Fark notes in his article that while the total Swine Flu death-count recently dropped from 18 to just 7, roughly 100 people die daily from the regular flu, the one we don't panic over.

I'm just saying, maybe, maybe, just maybe, it's because it came from Mexico. Drug wars, chaos, whathaveyou.

...And I fight Crime...

2009-04-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

BBC News released this story today claiming that pollution helps fight global warming.

Helps?

The claim that haze and smog diffuse sunlight, allowing a greater dispersion of sunlight to leaves may be true, if accurate.

What I can't believe is that this is seen as helping.

Most environmental issues have positives and negatives, but helping implies an overall improving of the situation; helping a man with a flat tire out by buying him a Coke doesn't do shit.

because I don't have one...

2009-04-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

But you can.

Watch it. (1:09)

Go get it.

Use it.

Beware the alternatives.....

This guy's bike....

2009-04-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

I mean, I like Steampunk as much as the next guy, which is to say, about as much as an M&M that fell on the floor (a quick bite if no one's watching) but this D-bag, well....he doesn't even have a hot chick.

That's not cool, man...

2009-04-18T19:32:00.000-07:00

The family of Martin Luther King is charging the Martin Luther King Jr. National Memorial Project Foundation more than $750,000 to use his words and likeness.

They claim funds likely intended for their MLK charity are being pocketed by, shocker, other charities!

Oy, Greenpeace! Those people were motivated by me to donate, so, you know, I'm gonna need that $130 bucks, you know, whenever you get the chance...

Jeans make you fat, poor, immature.

2009-04-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

The Wall Street Journal was echoed by The Washington Post when both ran companion Opinion pieces this week on denim jeans as fashion, or rather as not fashion.

"looks bad on almost everyone who isn't thin"

"There was a time, of course, when not everyone wore denim. In the 1950s,"

"the unofficial uniform of the fattest people in the world."

"no fabric has ever been so insidiously effective at undermining national discipline"

says WSJ dinosaur Daniel Akst, citing denim-sporting hipsters like Brando, Bing Crosby and Elvis.

I see this as disdain for cheap clothes worn by poor, fat people, or rather disdain for fat poor people.

TWP's article is no less incendiary.

"Denim is the infantile uniform of a nation in which entertainment frequently features childlike adults"

"Seventy-five percent of American "gamers" -- people who play video games -- are older than 18 and nevertheless are allowed to vote."

"Denim is the carefully calculated costume of people eager to communicate indifference to appearances"

"A confession: The author owns one pair of jeans. Wore them once. Had to."

"(Our country) would be much more so (lovely) if supposed grown-ups would...(put) away childish things, starting with denim."

says George F. Will, seen here (captions not mine) :

Video Games - a USD$9.5 billion industry in 2007.
Denim - a USD$49 billion industry in 2004.

Sound the alarm! Rid the world of these foul concoctions! Why, who would suffer when such piffle and trifle are eliminated?!? What's $60 billion in the bailout era?

Will had this to add:

"For men, sartorial good taste can be reduced to one rule: If Fred Astaire would not have worn it, don't wear it. For women, substitute Grace Kelly."

Fred Astaire? Grace Kelly? Brando, Elvis, please.....
The Brando I know was too fat for films, Astaire was dead and on Ritz Cracker commercials, Elvis was known for dying of obesity, and these are your fashion role models??

Right…

Most people 44 and under (at most, 14 in 1979, and making up a BIG chunk of the pants-wearing population) never saw these zombies in action.

Sorry, dinosaurs, we’re not switching back to the 14th Century.

They aren't either....it's free

2009-04-15T21:45:00.000-07:00

Florida will be the first state with an all-solar city.

Well done.

Now if only I can get me one of those damn hoverboards...

Oh, man, I've been DYING to use this pic...

2009-04-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

"What Terry was doing was describing his situation as being very frustrating and difficult"

This is the line lawyer David Houston is selling.....

So the Hulkster's wife threw his ass to the curb, with an October divorce-trial date.

Climbing to the top of the ropes, the Mr. Nanny star had this to say:

"You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife...I totally understand O.J. I get it."

His lawyer's comment, justifying the Hulkamania:

"because of spirituality, training and belief that it's in god's hands , he never went in that direction"

Am I the only one that believes:

1. One can't train to not horrificaly slay your wife along with a man who may or may not just be returning glasses?

2. Steroids shrink more than you think?

3. If god suffered a horrible sawmill accident that left him handless, we might have Eric Bana and Ed Norton fighting for the bio-pic role?

Sparking Houston's line, Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea, former professional pretend-athlete, former reality-tv "star" and former normal person's Words of Wisdom:

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like O.J., cutting everybody's throat,"

Wow, Mr. WWF, WTF ?

MSNBC, you rascals!

2009-04-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

I'm no stranger to offending, but, this was really on the news???

If you haven't seen it, watch THIS video from MSNBC.

Teabag jokes like there've never been teabag jokes before.

And CNN's worried about the effect Twitter has on kids.....

Hyperlink Hypocrites

2009-04-14T13:52:00.000-07:00

So I'm reading CNN's article on MRI brain-scan experiments. USC Sociologists, real science. NPR has it here.

In the articles, negative aspects of rapid-fire news media are examined.

The experiment? Briefly, a 13-person sample showed it takes up to ~6 seconds to comprehend and respond to images of others in non-physical pain, compared to ~2 seconds for physical pain.

Their experiment examples: subjects were quick to say "ouch" when watching footage of an ankle breaking, not so much for footage of a mentally disabled person longing for sexual relationships.

What's really being addressed is contemplation duration. Implied in the article is the notion that not enough time is allowed to focus on the meanings of news articles, given their rapidity and volume.

Well….

Visiting professor at more than 20 Universities Stafford Beer, using the principles of attenuation, touched on this problem in his 1974 CBC lectures, later published as 'Designing Freedom'.

Imagine pulling JengaTM pieces whilst others are continually stacking - your focus and balance point would be ever-shifting.

We’re likely observing the growing pains of a meaningful shift in population size, compounded by accompanying technological advances.

Meaningful growth patterns exist.

Online presence has grown in a similar fashion.

Consider this growth in conjunction with the steady exponential growth of Moore's Law:

What can be seen is a large blooming of humans, and the tools we use; what increases steadily in accordance is the technology driving the tools we use.

My point of contention is the CNN headline.

"Scientists warn of Twitter dangers"

Do they?

Quoting the article:

USC sociologist Manuel Castells said the study raised more concerns over fast-moving TV than the online environment.

Looks like they do not.

Don’t just blame Twitter…

And Yes, I have a Sociology degree....

I Can Ride a Skank with no Handlebars

2009-04-12T16:47:00.001-07:00

Really, people, really??

At least she's not this extremely NSFW chick here.
Early clickers be warned: this is self-inflicted pain re-defined.

The Writer does not approve.

Please let this be a trend....

2009-04-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

So some Hawaiians got their act together, and didn't buy it - they did it.

The quick: After a natural disaster, an important bridge leading to a national park needed repair - a State issue. At risk: their livelihoods in the form of tourism dollars.

These badass mofos asked not what their country could buy for them, but instead rallied around a common cause and repaired things themselves.

Faced with imminent bankruptcy without a steady revenue, locals set to work on a big pile of Win, completing all construction independently, and are now back in business.

Bravo, Kauai Island residents, bravo.

Government's estimated time before completion: 2 years

Government's estimated cost : $4 million (US)

Locals' actual completion time : 8 days

Government's actual cost : Face

As long as needed health and safety standards are being met, and the interests of the community are being served, I say we start to utilize the available labor pool for projects of any scale.

You don't see NPH quitting....

2009-04-08T21:35:00.000-07:00

Kal Penn, better known as Kumar, is quitting acting.

Apparently, he's switching White Castle for the White House, working as a public liason officer.

Methinks he's just a clever cover for the Prez....

Safety Meeting in the Oval, dude.

Second Life is the first loser...

2009-04-07T12:22:00.001-07:00

So I'm reading an article about musicians earning money in Second Life.

Real money.

Linden Dollars, or L$, a currency within the game, exchanges with non-nerddollars at a rate of 260 L$ for $1 U.S.

For serious??

People are tipping their video game characters now. Granted, those are all real people, not bits of code, but I'm not buying it.

It's a recession; I'll stick to free music on Myspace.

$20 Threesome

2009-04-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

Dude wants $20 for CARDBOARD BOXES!

It's craigslist in LA....

No-chella?

2009-03-31T19:07:00.000-07:00

So I want to go to Coachella.
To be there, the tickets are an understandable $270.

I mean, it's costly, but it's Paul fucking McCartney, Leonard Cohen, (along with a bunch of the best indie bands you don't know) The Black Keys, Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, The Chemical Brothers, even The Crystal Method will be there. Get Busy Child still reverbs my skull from the wake-ups on the first morning of my Frosh Week, when it's sticky bass pulses penetrated the hollow cinderblocks beside my pillow at sunrise. It's a lot of money, but I get it.

What I can't understand is the cost to sleep there.

Our accomodation options:
My friend and I can pay $1100 for 3 nights in a hotel in Palm Springs,

or

we can pay $150 for 3 nights in a condo in Palm Springs, found on the amazingly fecund craigslist.

Also fecund, not buying a hotel room for Coachella

The hotel room as a monopoly on accomodations ?
I'm not buying it.

Couchsurfing.
Craigslist.

It's the future, and it's cheaper than 8 babies.

I bet there aren't even snakes in the car...

2009-03-30T15:41:00.000-07:00

So there's a new film from the Fast and Furious franchise opening this weekend. It's been cleverly titled "Fast and Furious" and stars Vin Diesel.

I'm not buying that Hollywood is so entirely out of action flick ideas that this mind-numbing remake is what sells.

Are movie audiences really so bored that they'll go see a fourth installment of plotless car crashing?

What happened to the days of the high-concept action movie?

Where's my Timecop? My Demolition Man? My Judge Dredd? I mean, if you're going to just crank out sequels, at least have the decency to star in all TEN of them (I'm pointing at you, Stallone).

After skipping FF2 and 3 (ya, he cameo'd), Diesel returns for FF4 as a producer, which is about as reassuring as having Paris and Nicole at the helm.

It's time audiences stopped supporting empty movies just because shit blows up. If we boycott, we can get less of Barbie Gone Wild and more movies like The One where the hero fights himself with a motorcycle!

I'm not buying another action movie ticket until we see THIS: